Come on, then; I will swear to study so,
To know the thing I am forbid to know:
As thus,–to study where I well may dine,
When I to feast expressly am forbid;
Or study where to meet some mistress fine,
When mistresses from common sense are hid;
Or, having sworn too hard a keeping oath,
Study to break it and not break my troth.
If study’s gain be thus and this be so,
Study knows that which yet it doth not know:
Swear me to this, and I will ne’er say no.

– Love’s Labour’s Lost, Act I, Scene I

Shakespeare’s four scholars make a promise to avoid all “pleasures” to become renowned for study alone, and I’m making a sort of similar vow to achieve my first this year; for anyone familiar with the play, I do intend to sleep more than three hours a night and I doubt I’ll be able to summon the discipline to fast ;). Leopard, spots, lack of change, etcetera etcetera.

Hopefully it will pay off. Hopefully I have the willpower. If I don’t I’ll pay for it with my grade, I suppose.

A girl I knew at school committed suicide yesterday. Whilst I usually reserve great contempt for those who escape problems through the ultimate means – death – I know for a fact this kid had it bad. Her mother committed suicide when she was about 14. What kind of life must this girl have been suffering from that point onwards to finally snap and take matters into her own hands?

We weren’t “friends” and I won’t pretend we were. But we spoke a little bit, I made her laugh a few times, and most importantly, she never had a nasty word to say to me. That’s insanely precious, especially as nearly everyone in my year DID have an arsenal of barbed comments with my name on it. No, this girl was nice. I don’t subscribe to a religion, and I don’t like sounding sentimental, but I sincerely, genuinely hope that she’s somewhere nice right now.

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