Spam comments can suck my invisible cock, they’re fucking annoying and, if you’re going to post them, kindly contract something nasty and wheeze yourself to death. Thank you.

Lots of baby pictures have been appearing on the old Facebook feed of late. Dear new parent(s), your brats are hideous and squishy. They would be quite nice on toast, I expect, but other than that they’re uglier than Brundlefly and twice as productive in the vomit sector. Therefore, kindly stop assailing my eyes with photographic evidence of your active genitalia.

My life is being wasted thus. It’s driving me to distraction. I am in love with those little pink blocks that symbolise all my frustration and hatred.

I’m not doing Italian as an elective anymore, YEEHAW! It was really starting to bore me. Too much grammar and, even after a year of doing it, the sparse Italian I can speak was learned from phrasebooks and the internet, and not the course itself. Someone needs to address the way we approach and teach languages in this country – it’s a failed system. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: no wonder Europe hates us. We’re a lazy single-language island of fail.

Instead, I’m looking at operas and film scores. And next term, CHARLES I YAAAAY. Though not as hot as his son, and shorter than even me, Charles I is still groovy. “In spite of his intelligence and cultivation, Charles was curiously inept in his contacts with human beings. Socially, he was tactless and diffident, and his manner was not helped by his stutter and thick Scottish accent, while in public he was seldom able to make a happy impression.” Bless him. Awkward Scots for the win.

Heeeeee. :3

My corset came, it makes me thin, I am so happy.

The five pounds of weight I thought I gained were actually errors by my scale, and I have in fact lost an extra pound rather than gained anything during the time I’ve been here. Still considering joining the gym. Still agonising over the cost and whether I’d actually go or not. Pole dancing starts soon. I am excited.

I have a Magenta costume. I qualify as being cool.

My seminar groups and teachers are all good, with intelligent people rather than idiots who think they know it all but actually don’t. Huzzah.

I have a four-day weekend. Even bigger huzzah.

Advertisements