I have been flagrantly ill and as a result have lost a considerable amount of weight. Awesome. Things I ate yesterday: Viscount x 6, jacket potato x 2, massive serving of chocolate pudding x 1. Awesome.

Weight is now gained, I suspect.

Last night my womb tried to commit mutiny and had me in a miserable mess jackknifed under the quilt trying not to actively hunt things down and kill them to relieve the intense pain. Paracetamol? BAH, not strong enough. I hate bein’ a gurl.

Consequently I did not sleep until the small hours. Consequently I have missed missed my Music and Narrative lesson. LUCKILY the tutor records and sticks all his lectures up on t’internet so I love him for that. But how do I email him and inform him that my incessant female behaviour caused me to miss his lesson? Dilemma. Bah.

I sort of made a promise to…136 people that I would dye my hair purple and look like Madam Mim because of it. I may have to wait until I actually have enough money. Also I found out that if I bleach my Very Dark Hair I stand a good chance of losing my curls, possibly permanently, since there is no guarantee the hair will grow back the same texture and style. I’m not prepared to do that. I like my crazy Bellatrix mop, cheers. Dark purple it shall be. Maybe I’ll bleach streaks so bits show up brilliant violet. Maybe.