LEAR: O you, sir, you, come hither sir, who am I, sir?
OSWALD: My lady’s father.
LEAR: My lady’s father? My lord’s knave, you whoreson dog, you slave, you cur!
OSWALD: I am none of these, my lord, I beseech your pardon.
LEAR: Do you bandy looks with me, you rascal? [LEAR strikes him]
OSWALD: I’ll not be strucken, my lord.
KENT: [tripping him] Nor tripped neither, you base football player.

King Lear, Act I, Scene iv, William Shakespeare.

…Either I am a huge geek or that passage is universally hysterically funny.
I think the former applies most. I laughed unnaturally hard whilst reading it. Carry on with your lives!
*merrily vacates the room*