1. David Tennant
Friction burns.

2. A politician
I’d turn into Lady Macbeth.

3. A mathematician
Goes against every moral fibre in my body.

4. Someone who HAS to be right, ALL the time.
Would end up dead, murdered by kitchen knife.

5. Someone allergic to cats, either medically or out of detestation.
What do you MEAN you don’t love my lickle babies because they clawed your favourite trousers to pieces?!

6. A physicist.
Fuck offfffff.

7. Someone with dyslexia.
“That’s not how you spell ‘September’/’financier’/’masticate’/’troglodyte’/’desideratum’ -” “I BLOODY KNOW.”

8. A Star Trek fan.
No I shall NOT straighten my hair and tell you that I’m an illogical woman who’s beginning to feel too much a part of that communications console. …Fuck.

9. A hardcore Catholic.
One child is too much. Fifteen are clearly associates of Satan.

10. Someone who watches “intellectual comedy” programmes and consequently believes they are intelligent.
Because you’re fucking not.

Also ALICE COOPER:

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