Back here, back into a largely apathetic slump concerning this degree, which can go to hell if it wants to.

I’m supposed to do a Music essay by next week. It’s 2,500 words. I can’t be arsed. Yay for fail.

Um… usual Facebook addiction as always, meaning five hours of refreshing status updates and whatever, and no work or reading gets done.

Tried this Twiet thing (writing everything you eat on Twitter to shame yourself into eating less). I liked the masochistic idea of people I’ve never met asking me what the fuck I think I’m doing eating Monster Munch at 3am, don’t I want to be society’s idea of beauty, blah blah blah. Social experiment, or something. I think it’s left over from too much Secretary. No I’m not giving you the link, it’s stuff like, “Had a sandwich. Thick white bread should prob. be substituted for brown. Hm.”

ANYWAY the women who follow me are actually earnestly dieting and desperately trying to lose weight.

PREGNANCY WEIGHT.

ALL OF THEM. ALL OF THEM CAN BLAME THEIR EXTRA 40lbs OF WEIGHT ON A BRAT.

If that’s not incentive enough to stay childless I don’t know what is. (40lbs? That would take me up to 13 1/2st. WHAT.)

But it’s not enough for these cuddly mummies to Tweet/Twat how many flakes of Special K they had this morning, oh no. Every Tweet/Twat that’s not about food is about their kid(s). Every. One. Some of them even blog about their kids, 24/7. They’ve lost their identity and become mirrors to reflect their precious dribbling kids’ every moment. And they’re always so happy. Less than five hours’ sleep and they’re CONSTANTLY CHEERFUL. I’d be killing fluffy animals with a plastic fork by that point.

BUT IT GETS BETTER (worse). I, out of sick curiosity, followed two links. The first turned up a blog about a guy who’s just become a sucker dad. One of his closing sentences says that he wants to cuddle his new bundle of genetics and fat and drool and “watch his Mommy sleep.”

Have you shuddered at the weirdness of that sentiment yet? I wouldn’t even let David Tennant watch me sleep if I knew he was doing it. Go away, you fucking creepy penistrolley.

If you think I’m overreacting, fair enough. I tend to do that. But the second link was worse. The second link led to a Twitter on which a mother was Tweeting about how her baby son was slowly dying. Blow by blow.

I’m not even fucking kidding. I wish I was. I almost cried reading this woman’s shit.

From when he was hospitalised to when his conditioned worsened to when he swelled up due to some dangerous system failure to “He’s dying,” this bitch shared with the world how her baby was suffering for days on end before finally dying. Maybe even worse, she found time to blog about it too. And she had the – I don’t even know what it is – to say, “God knows what he’s doing. God is good.”

If someone filmed a puppy being kicked to death over the course of an hour and stuck it on YouTube they’d be arrested. How is it right for someone to spend their son’s last days INFORMING STRANGERS ABOUT EVERY MEDICAL DEVELOPMENT OVER THE FUCKING INTERNET?! Maybe it’s a coping mechanism, or something. But what the fuck happened to common decency?

I dunno, you might think it’s a good thing that she shared details with the world. Maybe it’ll make people appreciate things more, or something. Go and read it: http://twitter.com/natalienorton Look out for the super-special moments when she pimps out her blog. Oh, and be sure to smile whenever she puts a smiley face! ‘Cause there’s light at the end of the tunnel! 😀 😀 😀

Fucking people.

EDIT: For anyone who’s still curious after that, the Twiet is fairly pointless: I haven’t eaten Monster Munch at 3am since last summer.

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