Category: Photos


Kothermucking!

LOOK LOOK LOOK WHAT IS ON MY BOOBS

Ahem.

So there’s this Almost Alice tie-in album for Burton’s AiW and most of it is meh to average. Special mention goes to the atrocity that is Kerli’s song, Tea Party, which tries to make sexually-loaded lyrics clever and cute and still acceptable in what is essentially a teen CD. The video is packed full of aristos laden with lace and feathers and looking very Emilie Autumn, which is never, ever a bad thing, but when this Gaga lookalike starts inviting you to “pour me out,” it gets a bit shit. Kids over fourteen will be all, “HA this is fucking hilarious”; kids under fourteen will have their ears muffled by their parents.

Shinedown’s Her Name Is Alice is a bit of all right: it takes me back to my early teen affairs with Nickelback and the rest of the soundalike gravelly-voiced rawk bands. The song is pretty awesome, though.

BUT. Oh yes, “BUT,” ladies and loons, there is one hidden gem.

May I present to you Robert fucking Smith, covering Disney’s Very Good Advice, in the weirdest,  most scrumptiously whimsical fashion you could possibly imagine:

Happy place has been reached for this evening, a-thank you.

First off – THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU to everyone who made the painful transition from 19 to 20 awesome; I had cake, chocolate, cake, gin, jelly, cards, hugs, cake, cake, cake. I basically lived on cake yesterday, it’s the kind of life I believe I’d like to lead forever. So… thank you thank you thank you.

EMILIE AUTUMN. WAS FUCKING BRILLIANT.

I got brandy (masquerading as tea) spat on me, cake thrown at me, Veronica being a tart in my general direction, Emilie getting all cutely embarassed because I said we loved her… it was delicious. I hope she tours again sharpish, because her performances are second to none.

My chest is covered with red glitter because I have spent the day courting my skirt and fixing up the panels that happen to be covered with… well, red glitter. So my breasts are superstars and my room is dusted with sparkles.

I have also been making rat ears.

Well, all right, I made one rat ear and got bored.

I have one rat ear, behold its corpulent velvet loveliness. It’s huge because I’m a theatrical attention seeker

Why am I making rat ears, then?

WELL, on Friday I’m going to see EMILIE FREAKING AUTUMN which is, you know, cool.

She is one of the only musicians I actually obsess over, as opposed to being mildly inclined towards. You will have guessed this from the number of times I’ve stuck her songs on here. The above song is fucking hilarious. (The other  artists are the Dresden Dolls, Fiona Apple and Alice Cooper, just so’s you know.) And a little bit of Google-fu will tell you that she’s obsessed with rats and plague and whatever so a bit of costume is needed. I ordered a corset with red and white ribbons on (swoon) and I will spangle and ratify and be a dirty fangirl.

SPEAKING OF DIRTY FANGIRLS, I now have a bag with the Mad Hatter on. To join, you know, the bag with Jack Sparrow on, and the hoodie with Edward Scissorhands on. Mwahaha.

I have no fucking idea why I’m so hyper; I’ve only had Diet Cherry Coke, which contains no real sugar. And no calories, so I can overdose and be pleased. On the other hand, I’ve managed to eat eight hot cross buns in two days.

Clockwise from left: Count Festoon, Professor T. Pimlico, Sir Scrofula and Caractacus Jones.

Last night I watched Kubrick’s Lolita… I have nothing to say other than when I get my own house, it will look like Clare Quilty’s.

Advice for the Historical Fiction Author Who Desires to Include Condoms in a Sex Scene (yes, that’s actually what it’s called.)

– uploaded because I found it on as a Related Video, it was uploaded on my birthday, she was one of my favourite people/idols as a child and I’m in that sort of mood for various reasons. Also Disney Villainy needs no excuse.

– Today I found out about a porn star whose stage name is John E. Depth. I laughed very much.

– The correct way to say “bless you” in Spanish after someone sneezes is to say “Jesus y Maria (pronounced “Haysoos ee Maria”) – literally, “Jesus and Mary”. Just thought I’d share for funsies.

EMILIEEEEEEEEEE. I has concert tickets for next year :3

– Salvador Dali liked Alice Cooper. I’m in very good company.

They are adorable.

And if you’ve never heard that phrase before, you have missed out on a treat.

(I heard an English teacher say it once. Back when I thought ‘arse’ was a swear word, along with ‘git’, and thus the reaction was a total gasp of horror. Somebody put the lolocopter into gear.)

This is going to be such a word vomit-y post, hold onto to your hats. I’ve had this up on my screen all day, adding little bits to it. If the chronological order of anything doesn’t make sense, you now know why.

Hola to everyone who’s meandered over from Facebook, ja ja *waves*.

I hath pictures! Pictures of Italy, no less!I took around 500 photos in one week, so I’m filtering through and getting the fun/entertainingly informative ones out of the bunch, as opposed to 300+ of scenery, landscapes, waterscapes, elderly buildings and plants.

First children, let us conduct a study into Kristina’s Patented Pose of Complete and Utter Awkwardness:

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I was taking this guy’s picture in Verona when he stepped down off that lamp post base and walked over to me. With my mother gleefully encouraging him, he led me away and made me get up on the base before covering my hand with whiteface and gold glitter as he kissed it. I went scarlet. People took photos.

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Gondolas in Venice; all of them are slightly banana-shaped, as this keeps them moving forwards. Since the gondolieri only row on one side of the boat, if the boat was completely straight, it would go round in circles. All gondolas are painted black nowadays, to commemorate the black gondolas that carried plague victims to isolation islands such as Poveglia. (Google it, especially if you’re interested in paranormal activity. It’s supposed to be one of the most haunted places in the world.)

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Dude was just sitting around, so I took a sneaky photo whilst passing under the bridge in the gondola.

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Pillars marking the official entrance to the Piazza San Marco, or St. Mark’s Square. The winged lion is the sign of St. Mark, who wasn’t originally Venice’s patron saint – they nicked him from Alexandria, Egypt. People doomed to be executed were led between the pillars to the square, which is kind of why I took the photo in the first place. Locals won’t walk between the pillars as they believe it’ll give them bad luck.

DSCN16909,000ft above sea level at the Pordoi Pass in the Dolomites.  Air was thin. Sun was bright. And, partially unrelated, I have lost 17lbs in weight since coming home from uni, and I think it shows fairly nicely in this picture.

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The Scala Contarini del Bovolo in Venice – ‘Scala’ means staircase, Contarini was the name of the family who owned the house, and ‘bovolo’ means snail. The Snail Staircase was only a servants’ exit and entrance…I’d do all sorts of unsavoury things to have it attached to my house. Inspired by a certain Leaning Tower.

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Unhappy lion pleases me immensely.

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House on the Lago di Garda – if anyone has the means to buy this for me, please do.

You know what I really hate? On the lake, there are loads of ducks. LOADS of them. And people were taking photos of them, as if they’d never seen ducks before in their lives. What sort of person –

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Oh yeah.